Being Eaten Alive

[00:00:00] Disclaimer, this episode includes the usual amount of adult language and graphic discussions you've come to expect around here.

[00:00:06] But in the event it becomes an unusual amount, expect another call from me.

[00:00:10] Welcome back to Scared All The Time. I'm Chris Kalari.

[00:00:14] And I'm Ed Vucola.

[00:00:16] And when I was a kid, my sisters and I got attacked by a dog.

[00:00:19] We were so young we don't really remember this meet one. No. And so my mom finally got this hellhound Cerberus off of us and returned to its owner because it had leapt out of another person's car while they were loading groceries. Wow. And she got my sisters and I home. And we seemed no worse the wear, except I started having nightmares.

[00:01:41] And I don't remember the earliest ones,

[00:01:43] but once they started, they never really stopped.

[00:01:46] Sometimes they'd be about dogs, sometimes lions or tigers, of like, cause this is starting to feel fire in the sky a little bit, where it's like I'm having flashes or intrusive thoughts of, you know, being on a alien operating table or something that are resurfacing. Cause I don't, as you know, I don't know if it's truly to say in the episode, but I don't love, I'm not a dog person. Uh, but I don't wish them any harm.

[00:03:00] Like I don't, if a dog comes up and it's a friend's dog,

[00:03:02] like I'll pet it and stuff, but I don't a, want to own them. And B,

[00:04:03] There's just so much judgment on you that you're at a certain point You have to just like smile and be like okay cool

[00:04:06] I'll pet it yeah because the alternative is having to explain that like no

[00:04:09] It's like I just I have no problem with them

[00:04:11] I don't you know what I mean cuz people do yeah judge the shit out of me over the years when I'm like not really

[00:04:15] A dog person and then I feel there's a lot of follow-up questions weirdly. I don't know I've told lots of people

[00:04:20] I'm not really a dog person and maybe they've judged me and I've just had face blindness and not noticed it

[00:04:25] But I've never been ashamed of my dog concerns It seemed like she was just like, you know, I'm gonna fucking bite this postman What I find so weird is that like pit bulls are Sort of the flag bearer of the dangerous dog that people are like, oh you shouldn't have those pets Well, there's certain cities. I don't know if it's not Los Angeles. Maybe Boston. There's certain places I think we've lived where they have like rules against them in the city limits, right?

[00:05:40] But why I guess if I've never looked into this but like German shepherds

[00:05:45] I also am equally uncomfortable around well, there's historical context of that Yeah, pugs are fucked up, chihuahuas are fucked up, schnauzers are fucked up, they're all broken and like, their brains are snapped, their noses don't work, they can't breathe. There should be like three dogs. There should be golden retrievers and then dogs that look kind of like wolves and like maybe a, you know, a mid-sized like a collie or something.

[00:07:01] Why are golden retrievers separate?

[00:07:02] Are they from like the wolf community?

[00:07:04] I don't know.

[00:07:05] Like a wolf makes sense.

[00:07:06] If you were like, oh, a dog looks like a wolf.

[00:07:07] They seem normal.

[00:07:08] Like huskies? And we're back. Yeah we are. Before we get into the episode, let me just say that a couple of housekeeping things here. A, we got an avalanche of pronunciation and geography corrections. We took them to heart and there's nothing we can do about it. The episode's out, but we now know that the Gulf Islands in Canada, you can't get to them

[00:08:20] by a bridge.

[00:08:21] Those are dirty, fairy islands, if anything, but they're not dirty bridge islands.

[00:08:26] We now know that Richmond we got a great episode. It meanders a little bit in the beginning, but then it gets fucking wildly fun. So stick with us. Yes, there will be chapters in the show description. So stick around for the fun meandering or jump straight to the stories. It's up to you.

[00:09:40] So, Ed, have you ever had a frightening animal encounter?

[00:09:43] Yes. OK.

[00:09:44] Besides the one that I guess I don't know at the time, a snapping turtle. And Brody is like, you know, I can go full steam ahead. Why don't you come down here and chum some of this shit? And he looks up when he looks back. The fucking Jaws is there. Yeah. It was exactly that because I was bringing a garbage bag out to the garbage cans behind my place in LA and I whip the top of the garbage can open, I've been stung by a bee and like, you know, bitten by a snake being a kid and stuff, but like I don't really have any scary animal stuff other than those intrusive thoughts. And so I've always been haunted by the idea of being eaten alive. And it's not just me, this is a real fear.

[00:13:41] I looked it up.

[00:13:42] It's also a sexual thing.

[00:13:43] Whoa, oh.

[00:13:44] Are we gonna get into vore or whatever?

[00:13:46] Oh, oh, my friend. because like drowning or falling, it seems like a fear of being eaten alive must be a fairly common core human fear. But I can also see it falling to the wayside. It's been like each passing year, we're not living in a cave. Right. It's gotta be like, I don't think, until the possum ends up in your man-made garbage can.

[00:15:01] I guess I don't think about it.

[00:15:02] Well, your possum, you know,

[00:15:03] you're afraid of being bit or whatever,

[00:15:04] but you're not afraid of being eaten alive.

[00:15:06] I was afraid of that's a fucking werewolf. And I turned around and just took my chances with the drug deal, like just don't make eye contact,

[00:16:22] go through.

[00:16:22] Was this in LA or Connecticut?

[00:16:24] This was in LA, this was in LA,

[00:16:25] like pretty much right before the holidays, yeah.

[00:16:28] I was like, holy shit. that I think you're kind of right. A lot of research has moved on from our fear of being eaten alive to research about the way that fears of being consumed affects animals in the food chain and the ways that that fear shapes ecosystems and evolution. And I found a bunch of really interesting research, but it wasn't really all that pertinent.

[00:17:41] I couldn't find much information on A,

[00:17:45] how many people are actually eaten alive

[00:17:47] by animals every year. There are several practical tips and coping strategies that can help individuals manage their fear of being eaten alive, including practicing relaxation techniques, challenging negative thoughts, and my favorite, face your fears gradually. Gradually facing your fears can help reduce anxiety and build confidence, which seems like questionable advice

[00:19:02] for someone whose fear is being eaten alive.

[00:19:05] I don't know, derail this episode before we even get started, but ooh baby, what a rabbit hole. You have a sexual desire to be consumed by a rabbit hole. That's, yeah.

[00:20:20] Do you love that shit?

[00:20:21] You dive right in.

[00:20:22] We might talk more about it later,

[00:20:24] but what's important for now is that close to you and it kind of feel like, is it about being eaten alive or is it just about like returning to the womb in some way? Well, like, because it's just like by being eaten alive, I guess ultimately you want to just be inside something. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. We should ask listeners write in, let us know. Do you think it would be fair for scared all the time

[00:21:41] to do an episode on the opposite of being scared?

[00:21:44] Cause I do feel like v, but you know a lot of guys are making the suggestion You're the only one with a fucking heart on like maybe

[00:23:02] Maybe you shouldn't be the one I volunteering like isn't human. The point is the idea here isn't to make anyone afraid of any particular animal, just to remind us that we are ultimately nothing more than meat and to treat the animals that think of us that way with respect.

[00:24:20] Did you ever see the kids in the hall sketch about the small town who were dealing with

[00:24:26] shark attacks?

[00:24:27] No. Falkland Islands when it came within sight of a whale. Two boats were dispatched with harpoons to snare and kill the beast, but the lashing of its tail capsized one of the launches, spilling the crew into the sea. All were accounted for except for a single sailor, James Bartley. Ultimately, the whale was killed, the carcass drawn aboard the vessel to begin the process of salvaging valuable resources.

[00:25:41] By the next day, good progress had been made in removing the layers of blubber from the

[00:25:44] beast so a tackle was attached to its condition from which the skin never recovered.

[00:28:20] Bartley believed that he would probably have lived inside his house of flesh until he starved So again, a VOR warning here. Whew, whew, pull over, stop operating heavy machinery. If you're a VOR, just take a seat until we get through this part. According to the BBC, this is what you should do if you are swallowed by a whale. Quote, once inside, sit tight and try not to touch anything if at all possible. Gastric processes.

[00:28:21] How big do they think this is?

[00:28:23] Oh, it's like Pinocchio where you're like in a fucking boat

[00:28:25] driving around in there.

[00:28:26] It's a room with a table and.

[00:28:27] Oh my God, it's like there's 13 stomachs in 500 tunnels. How the hell do I get out of here? There's a guy that's been in there for years. He's like, I don't know. I've tried most of these tunnels, man. And let me just say it's a complex digestive system. So these whales may have up to four stomach chambers, rather like the multi stomach system of a cow, which allows for the controlled channeling of food through the digestive system.

[00:30:42] sick from having to chop up the inside of a whale? Like...

[00:30:43] Yeah, I guess they mean maybe it's gross, but I would say fucking do it, dude.

[00:30:47] Listen, you eat the whale, it's two birds with one stone because you're not only providing

[00:30:51] yourself with sustenance, you tunnel your way out.

[00:30:55] So I think that would be my vote, just start biting.

[00:30:58] I honestly thought you were going to be like, because number one, you're tunneling.

[00:31:01] Number two, you take a little bit of the whale's power from it with each bite.

[00:31:06] Yeah. He gets eaten by a whale and it's like the whales finally met its match because he's like, I can eat a whale in under an hour, dude. Well, so there's actually a book that came out last year through MTV books, which I didn't realize was a thing. I don't know if that would be a thing. It's written by a guy, a writer named Dan Krauss, who's a great horror writer. It's called Whale Fall and it's sort of like the Martian, except instead of being trapped

[00:32:23] on Mars, it's a guy who gets swallowed and trapped in a horrific couple seconds or being suffocated and digested in the living flesh coffin over the course of days or weeks. But the reality is that sharks do eat more people than whales and they get the spotlight. So we'd be remiss not to feature at least one death by shark attack here. And I will say, you know, we will be addressing sharks again.

[00:33:41] They'll probably get their own episode.

[00:33:43] We're going to do a lot more ocean stuff if I have my say on it.

[00:33:46] So this is not the end all196 men on board, 900 survived. 900 men made it into the water alive. But honestly, getting blown up in the boat was probably a better fate.

[00:35:01] The Navy intercepted a message from the Japanese sayingations they'd salvaged from their ship. One group of survivors made the mistake of opening a can of spam, but before they could taste it, the scent of the meat drew a swarm of sharks to them. Oh no.

[00:36:20] So they got rid of their meat

[00:36:21] rather than risk a second swarming.

[00:36:24] So it's a buffet.

[00:36:25] It's a living buffet. absolutely will suffer from like salt poisoning and further dehydration. And these people, their lips and tongues would swell up and they would foam at the mouth and then die. But when you're all grouped together in these like little survival groups and someone in the middle of you dies, a lot of these corpses drag their living comrades

[00:37:40] into the water with them as they sank.

[00:37:42] Yeah, because these people must be so exhausted

[00:37:44] after like day and night of just having to paddle the horrible screams of men being bit beneath the surface, their limbs torn from their bodies as the sharks ate them alive. That to me really cuts to the core of the fear of being eaten alive. Like, can you imagine you're floating for days, dehydrated, starving, and you can't even sleep because you know, this is something we might come back

[00:39:02] to a lot in season two, because I'm fascinated by this,

[00:39:04] but dread, the rest of the

[00:40:20] day.

[00:40:21] Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be the scariest days by sharks So fuck you ocean fuck you sharks JK don't eat sharks or kill them They're fine, but just awful shark being a shark shark being a shark now, of course There are plenty of land animals that can eat humans alive, too. It's not exclusive to the ocean but not

[00:42:45] and what have you and it seems like at some point inevitably someone's always like just punch in the nose you just punch in the nose you stand your ground

[00:42:49] you're looking in the fucking eyes or whatever and so there is potentially

[00:42:52] even if it's complete bullshit I guess there is some semblance of well there

[00:42:58] are you know defense options that that I guess I can employ against a shark where

[00:43:05] a whale it's like hey I hate you man I hate you I didn't even to fight anything that that's its natural habitat. No, but shark we keep saying different things keep saying bop them in the Nose, you'll be fine. Maybe so who knows you got a whole I mean the muscle memory you'd have to have to be like All right. There's a great white shark. It's swimming right at me. I'm gonna hold still I'm gonna bop it on the nose I'm gonna give it a little but like hold still unless it's attacking me in two feet of water

[00:44:23] I am I have no real

[00:45:28] horrific land-based animal attacks in history. And there's one in particular we know for sure, the case of Timothy Treadwell, who was the subject of a really excellent Werner Herzog

[00:45:34] documentary called Grizzly Man. Timothy Treadwell spent years in an all of his encounters with bears, had his camera on him. And on this night, the camera was turned on somehow. No one's entirely sure if it was in the scuffle or if he had it on prior to the attack and forgot to turn it off, but the camera recorded the attack. It had the lens cap on, so it was just audio. And the audio's never been released.

[00:47:01] In Grizzly Man, Werner Herzog listens to the audio

[00:47:05] through headphones, turns to't know what to make of it. I watch a lot of horror movies, as you know. And if these screams are fake, people say this all the time, like, you know, if someone's acting, they deserve an Oscar. But if these screams are fake, they deserve an Oscar. It's some of the most gut-wrenching, horrific, just like there's something primal about it.

[00:48:20] It's the sound of man as animal,

[00:48:23] like realizing it's dying,

[00:48:25] realizing this is how it ends.

[00:48:27] It's really fucking awful. And something that is really horrific to think about, or something to be aware of, I guess, is that grizzly bears don't care if their prey is dead or alive. According to an excerpt I found from Walking Home, A Journey in the Alaskan Wilderness by Lynn Schoeller, quote, big cats go directly for the head, killing with a single bite that

[00:49:44] penetrates the brain. Just do us all a favor, be a good neighbor, dude. Just fucking chomp them, chomp their head and then do what you want. Well, what's really interesting is that grizzly bears aren't even carnivores. They're omnivores. Oh my god. Their diet's like 90% vegetarian. That really confirms they're just assholes. Yeah, they're just douchebags. When they eat meat, much of it is scavenged.

[00:51:01] A lot of it is salmon from the river, which, you know,

[00:51:03] we're not going into whether or not salmon feel fear and pain, It was thin and they suspect it was probably starving, possibly injured and it went for what it, I don't know why a bear would consider a human easy, I mean, maybe if the human was asleep already, it considered it easy prey, but yeah, with bears, the only hope you have, they will outrun you, they will outhunt you. I think there's probably a biologist out there

[00:52:20] who can correct me on this,

[00:52:21] but their sense of smell is like,

[00:52:24] I wanna say I read it was like seven to 10 times stronger It's just a person looking like an idiot and then dying. It's just like at least everyone gets to walk away a little embarrassed. But if it doesn't work, it's just like, and you can see right here the moment Greg knew it wasn't gonna work. It sucks. There's a far side comic in that somewhere.

[00:53:46] There's a couple other animals I wanna touch on before we get to the grand finale here.

[00:53:48] So pythons, what's the size? Like what is it that we, cause we've held ball pythons, which is a non-venomous constricting snake, but they're small, we're in control. Like what size before it becomes like a problem? I don't know. I do know that the largest anaconda ever found in Brazil was 30 feet long and weighed over 500 pounds. Okay.

[00:55:01] How does Brazil not have a space program?

[00:55:04] If I fucking saw a hundred foot long fuckers in the ocean Yeah, but yeah I guess it wouldn't even be that hard right like to hide if you're in the fucking rainforest all that canopy You know unless someone's there and it can probably just curl up around something So I bet you they can get by without being found maybe yeah

[00:56:22] I found some stories of humans who have been eaten alive or eaten by

[00:57:23] automatic car wash that is going into this snake's body. Yeah, death by weighted blanket.

[00:57:25] Yeah, because otherwise, how much of it

[00:57:28] does it need to get of you before you just be like,

[00:57:31] eh, this is my life now.

[00:57:32] Like, I feel like it would have to get up to my knees.

[00:57:35] If it, for whatever reason, got up to my knees,

[00:57:38] I'm talking foot first here,

[00:57:40] because I'm running and it gets me in the back of the foot,

[00:57:42] I think at that point, I'm just talking to it,

[00:57:44] being like, come on, bud.

[00:57:46] But up until then, I'd society we live in. One of the last things they get bitten by is, I believe is some kind of large python or anaconda and holy fuck, it basically ends the show. Like the show never came back. It's really intense.

[00:59:00] I'll put, again, I'll put it in the show notes.

[00:59:02] You're saying it's got really strong jaws and it like crushed them or because they're

[00:59:06] non-venomous, right?

[00:59:07] Like a python? crew and it's like we have a staff that we've hired of like medical professionals and like paramedics on set. But if you're just a YouTube channel, where it's like, babe, babe, bring in that wasp, babe. And then it's like, okay, let it get it near me. Put sugar on my hand, get it on my hands. And then like, he starts swelling up. And it's like, I don't know, just no one there to really, like, if you,

[01:00:20] it's not something I want to start in my fucking apartment, you know,

[01:00:24] no, or alone outside in the woods.

[01:01:22] they probably think of, piranhas. Oh.

[01:01:23] So I've seen this same guy we were just talking about,

[01:01:26] he does do an episode where he gets bitten by a piranha

[01:01:29] and it rips off a chunk of his finger.

[01:01:31] But interestingly, when I looked at the people

[01:01:34] who have been eaten alive by piranhas,

[01:01:36] I didn't really find much.

[01:01:37] People have definitely been attacked by them,

[01:01:40] but there are almost no corroborated stories

[01:01:43] of people actually being devoured and killed by piranhas.

[01:01:48] Except for in Brazil, maybe the most dangerous place in the world except for Australia. Yeah, Australia is not great either because they just got spiders the size of your head, dude. Yeah, so these guys are fishing and somehow they accidentally disturbed a beehive. They were swarmed, stung, and all three men jumped into the lake to avoid the bees, but in a real sitcom kind of like, oops,

[01:03:01] the lake was filled with piranhas.

[01:03:04] So two of the guys managed to swim to shore,

[01:03:07] but the third, bleh.

[01:04:21] No, I think you would laugh after when you survived

[01:04:25] being like, could you believe the Rube Goldberg machine Basically they're lice. Yeah, I think I actually got these once when I was a kid My Nona had a what do you click garbage pit in her backyard like a garbage pit? No, what's the word? Uh, she's a garbage pit in her backyard. She's got a can have the city pick it up. No, no She would compost she had a compost. Oh, okay, that's different entirely Yeah Whether she would just dump all her vegetable pieces and rotting food

[01:05:43] Whatever and I wrote a little tricycle down the hill and I accidentally fell into

[01:06:44] of the American dream. But by 2010, she was suffering from dementia and she got moved into the Shepherd Hills nursing home by her daughter. At some point, reports of a scabies infestation

[01:06:51] at this nursing home were reported to the state, but no investigation was ever undertaken. And

[01:06:57] according to experts, that is what resulted in Zenny's hand for fear that it might fall off her body. Her lawyer, Steven Chance, claimed in an interview. I don't want to laugh. It's so fucking horrible. But it is just like, hey, maybe you avoid the hand that just-

[01:08:20] That's falling?

[01:08:21] Yeah, that's dying separate from the rest of her body. felt like she was probably on fire and I would like to think at this point the daughter was out of the picture or died or something and like I don't know how she clearly didn't have any family visiting her at this point so I don't know. Or they did and it was like nobody nobody stared her hand let's just get that through this. Yeah so her flesh wasn't consumed literally but she was

[01:09:41] essentially eaten alive by millions of microscopic bugs. I hate this story I Well, if Hannibal Lecter were real, I feel like he would definitely put them on a menu. That's not the case here. Do you ever think it's lazy that they just changed one letter from Cannibal to name that guy? Well, they, I think you mean the author, Thomas Harris, is a guy. He changed it, but yes, it's a little lazy. But Hannibal was also like a warlord, right? At one point, back in the-

[01:11:00] No, Hannibal, yeah, he was it the Punic Wars that Hannibal fought in?

[01:11:05] I don't remember.

[01:11:05] Yeah, he had elephants. He brought elephants to like-

[01:11:07] He was the elephant guy. who mowed his neighbor's lawn, helped friends fix their cars, and hosted charming dinner parties.

[01:12:21] But Armin wasn't well.

[01:12:23] He developed an obsession with serial killers, and worse the internet was wild back then. I'm glad we were around for it. I drove to fucking a flu. I flew to Atlanta, Georgia to meet people I met on the internet around 2001, 2002. That's crazy. I never did that. Yeah. My parents were like, Oh, is this okay? But they also didn't know

[01:13:41] what the internet was. And I was like, yeah, we all make anime music videos, mom. It's going to be fine.

[01:14:41] I don't hate that. No one was made to do anything they didn't want to do and it seemed Armin might never

[01:14:45] fulfill his desires.

[01:14:48] Until March of 2001 when he got a reply from a man named Bernd Jurgen Bernd Jurgen Armando

[01:14:55] Brandes.

[01:14:56] I don't think he even had to tell us his name if it's that butchers.

[01:14:59] Just say it got a reply from a guy named Bernd.

[01:15:02] He got a reply from Bernd Jurgen Armando Brandes's chew on his own cut off penis. I have a question. Yes. Ed, you sir. With his hand raised. You kind of skimmed over. You said that they went to a pharmacy to pick up supplies. Yeah. And I know he's taken all these sleeping pills and shit. How does that help in any way with, you know,

[01:16:21] I figured they would need some sort of localized anesthetic. If I'm the guy,

[01:16:26] I don't want to feel pain during this procedure.

[01:17:24] I'll just sweat, but I just feel like I would need more than that to not feel someone gnaw at my dick. I would assume that painkillers were involved at some point here, but yes, so Brandi's tries to eat his own penis

[01:17:31] but it's too tough and as he puts it, chewy.

[01:17:34] Oh my god, no one's cooking anything? Not throwing this in a fucking skillet, dude?

[01:17:38] You gotta prepare it like any other meat.

[01:17:41] Slow your roll, dog. We're getting there.

[01:17:43] Sorry, it's just so-

[01:17:45] This one I'm just like it was yesterday. She came in, she had a list from her grandson of movies that she was to pick up for him. And one of them was Faces of Death and I was like, yeah, we don't have that here, lady. Yeah. And she's like, oh, is it like, is it a movie? I'm

[01:19:02] like, no, that's just like footage of behead end I need to die? Because if it's not the case, I'm like, you can have part of my arm, the part I don't use. But if it's like, hey, don't start with something I'm definitely gonna wanna use after this. No, I think Brandis was like, this was obviously, well, I shouldn't say obviously, but it was, I think, pretty clearly sexual for both of them.

[01:20:22] And I don't know for sure

[01:20:24] because I don't think anyone really had ever asked him,

[01:20:26] but Brandis must have out and was probably too weak to eat anything at this point anyway. So Muse ran Brandis a bath, laid him in the tub before going to read a Star Trek book while checking in on Brandis every 15 minutes. Excuse me? During which Brandis lay bleeding in the bath drifting out of consciousness. I find it hard to pay attention to reading if it's a little cold.

[01:21:44] Yeah. After, I assume, Mayways finished the book and Worf found his uncle or whatever the fuck. Mayways finally killed Brandius by stabbing him in the throat, after which he hung the body on a meat hook. Muse, Mayways, Arkannibal, dismembered and ate the corpse over the next 10 months, storing

[01:23:02] body parts in his freezer under pizza boxes and ultimately eating up to 44 pounds of his No matter what you heard, I'm excellent. I've had 10 months, I know how to cook now. Yeah, it seems like he should have put, if not effort into tourniquets and the medical aspect. You get one chance at cooking this guy's penis and you're gonna burn it? Yeah, to me, that's what I'm saying. It's the amateur hour of it all that pisses me off.

[01:24:21] You're tossing it to your dog who's even like,

[01:24:23] hmm, as a dog, he knows this could have been better.

[01:24:26] Yeah, I practiced cooking salmon victim because he clearly I'm gonna call him a victim I'm gonna go ahead and say that this guy's like eat my dick and then you know he's in the fucking bathtub being like I didn't think that I'd be dying oh fuck I should have taken those sleeping pills well no I mean I think he's a victim in the sense that maybe there was no discussion that this ends in your death even though no I think

[01:25:41] there's an argument to be made if you're like take my dick you think maybe death made life size xenomorph from aliens suits, body suits that are anatomically correct for sex depending on which sex is wearing it, like which gender. They sold for a lot of money, each one because they were very bespoke into measurement and shit and almost exclusively sold to people in Berlin.

[01:27:02] It was, I'm not trying to say anything don't think they watched it. Like they let him go to the fucking rave, you know, and just party.

[01:28:20] He might've, I don't know.

[01:28:21] I don't know where he went when he went on these walks.

[01:28:23] I assume there must've been a guard with him or something.

[01:28:26] So he just, I don walks. Well, the kicker to this story is that while in prison, Armin has become a vegetarian. I bet you that they might not even give him meat though. That's true. Honestly, I mean, you let him walk, I don't know. He's got life in prison. It's not like he's ever gonna eat a guy again. Yeah, I'll put pictures in the show notes,

[01:29:40] but if you see pictures of this guy,

[01:29:42] I think he might've been camping. One of my all time least favorite things in the world to do. But if you're going to go camping, you might as well go somewhere like beautiful, which would be like proper woods. And who knows what the fuck's out there?

[01:31:00] Yeah.

[01:31:01] They have black bears in Connecticut.

[01:31:02] I don't know if they have grizzly bears, but.

[01:31:05] I don't think they have grizzly bears in Connecticut.

[01:31:07] I don't think so either, Like being eaten alive by a human is less of a concern and actually even less of a concern post talking to you about it because that guy did request someone who's like in good shape or something. Didn't he say he wanted someone who's like firm and fit or something? So no one's looking for me. He also is asking for a young man, so.

[01:32:21] Okay, well then that's double.

[01:32:22] Even once we get in shape

[01:32:24] because this year Ed and I are gonna be gym dogs.

[01:32:26] I think they're ended on a hot piss and shit high note with Charlie in the finale of season one actually remembering that news article. So true. Go out on top. Go out on top. We got new things.

[01:33:40] We have fucking eaten alive, which is taking its place.

[01:33:42] Hell yeah, dude.

[01:33:43] All right.

[01:33:44] Well, this has been scared all the time.

[01:33:46] I'm Chris Kalari.

[01:33:48] And I'm Ed Vaccola.